Well….I haven’t had a chance to process and/or have any reaction/emotions and I don’t think it’s healthy in a way but I’ve been so happy with Gio so ain’t got time for that lol! I think I’m scare not knowing what’s going to happen because no one knows, see doctors can tell you the basics which are:
“you might lose your hair, you might feel tired, you might feel nausea, you might have skin rash, you might have headaches, you only have a year to a year and a half to live, etc.”
You see they never tell you what really happens because they don’t know. I’ve had chemo and radiation before and it’s more of what they tell you, it’s awful the pain the process the side effects and yes everyone is different. I can only rely on God, prayers, hope and faith! God will give me the strength to pick up my weapons and fight, I need to awake the warrior in me and rise up!
Some of you know everything I’ve been through my whole life and I’m still standing, smiling, happy, living life joyful, compassionate, encourage people and minister to people. I do give all even in the pain but when I do it it’s not about me but God! I give all my praises to HIM who loves me so much and I give all the glory to HIM! As I’m typing this I’m ministering to myself without noticing and I feel how my hope is rising up. I really hope when you read this you can chose joy and whatever it’s going on in your life you trust in God and you’ll see how everything will fall into place and by the way laugh. It’s not wrong to be happy and joyful in any situation. Trust me in my situation I make fun of it (some think it’s morbid) but come on I have to laugh at something right?!
I babysit 3 adorable kiddos who they keep me going and yes even in pain when they hug me, when they kiss me, when they smile at me all the pain goes away. They sure bring so much joy in my life, I love them so much and every moment I have with them I am the most blessed person ever. Some days they wore me out (hahaha) and then I’m on my way home exhausted but very well worth it. I can’t wait to see them all grown up (yes, I said it) and share with them my story well our story😊
I can’t wait to be done with this cancer once and for all! I want to share my life with Gio and live life together, travel, camping, backpacking, grow old together, enjoy every moment! I want to see the 77+ churches planted, I want to see Chicago without violence, I want to see everything I never imagine to see! Now let’s do this…..