After sharing the results of the biopsy with family and close friends. I realized I didn’t update here or at any social media?!! So…..
The cancer has metastasize started colon, lymph nodes and breast. New treatment is on the way in couple of weeks, then mastectomy, then if this treatment doesn’t work means it’s uncontrollable (means that’s it) I still have hope in a way, I’ve been kind of numbing this news for awhile. I might have some tears here and there but then I put myself together and I’m normal again. Am I scare? Heck yes! Sometimes I speak in fear with the one I love (Gio) then his love and support makes me keep him around hehehe! He doesn’t care how I would look outside!
God said “I won’t have limitations and it’s not my time yet.” I do believe it because I mean, he doesn’t lie to us. He loves us so much that he gave his own son for us. So I do trust he will turn things around for good, now if for whatever reason something happens. I still love him, I will believe in his perfect love, I will trust him and I will praise him always and forever! God sent me someone who truly loves me for who I am not for what I can give, I remember always saying no I won’t date, I won’t fall in love and I won’t get married (joke’s on me) Then Gio came along and what a great man he is…..he always make me smile, laugh, happy, he takes really good care of me and I’ve never seen that before (I still need to get used to it) I am very truly blessed and I have so much joy even in the midst. I am so grateful to God for not paying attention to what I said before lol! Thank you Gio for being truly, kind, honest, man of honor, funny, for loving me very much, for the respect you show me, I know there’s more to say and there are no words to express that! Love you very much (see? How much he loves us he wants good things for us)
Back to “process the news” I might need to watch a sad movie or something lol! Not really, I don’t need that but I do feel like yes I need to cry and weep but then I don’t have to go through that, right? Why if I’m happy right now and well I feel different emotions and I think it’s normal in a way? But yes I do need to cry I just haven’t had a “chance” I feel like I’m trap under water and I can’t get out. Sorry if this sounds contradicted but I’m just sharing my feelings. Well when the time comes for me to cry, I’ll keep in mind not to stay there for too long!
And that’s all folks!!